Satire on Government-Regulated Computer Security

This is hilarious. I had to post it.

From DShield listservice on March 23,2005

Dear Mr. Smith,

We, the government of the United States of America, have detected an unauthorized attempt to use a file sharing application on your personal computer. According to our records, you are not licensed to execute any software applications with a security risk rating of 3 or above.

As you know, the "Computer Safety for the People" Act of 2007 prohibits individual computer users from executing potentially dangerous software applications without proper government-licensed permission. This Act was instated to keep citizens such as yourself safe from malicious computer attacks so that we can all enjoy a safer Internet. Each violation of this act could result in fines of up to $10,000 or more.

We have already given you the freedom to browse the World Wide Web and send/receive E-mail, which is all you should really need to do anyway. Because sharing files with other computer users over the Internet represents a much increased security risk, you are not permitted to do so without government authorization.

If you would like to apply for a Class 3 software license, you will need to undergo necessary computer skills training and examinations at a local government facility just like everybody else. Remember, this is not only for your own good, but for the greater good of the society.

Thank you for your cooperation.
-We the People.

-- MS (initials used to protect privacy)